Top 9 Things I, Peter Griffin, Would Like To Say To America

1. "If George Bush had Dick Cheney's first name, his name would be Dick Bush and I'll tell you I'd listen to a lot more of his speeches"

2. "Did the Patriot Act take care of Mujibur and Sirajul?"

3. "Shouldn't Crystal Bernard be in 'Playboy' by now... I mean we did our part and sat through seven seasons of 'Wings'"

4. "Laura Bush killed a guy"

5. "This is the best moment in television since Mr. Belvedere sat on his own nuts and fainted"

6. "Did you know Jim Belushi had a brother who was in TV, too?"

7. "Hey Ben Affleck and Matt Damon we're all still waiting on that second Oscar-winning script"

8. "If Jay Leno makes you laugh, chances are I don't care for you as a person"

9. "We should all buy more American-made products which at last check are down to porn and cheeseburgers"