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Meows in six languages
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He's the only one in your family who could assemble your Ikea coffee table
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His whiskers are Bluetooth enabled
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He only purrs when "Meet the Press" is on
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Won 28 grand on "Jeopardy's Kitty Week"
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He rigged it so he's got 10 lives
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Earned the 2005 Nobel Prize in yarn-related sciences
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Keeps putting the dog on Ebay
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Winces everytime he hears George W. Bush say, "Nuke-yoo-lar"