Top 9 Ways Barry Bonds Can Improve His Image

9. Lucky fan gets to inject him in the ass

8. Develop an exit strategy for Iraq

7. Change name to Barry the Cable Guy

6. Open retail chain: Big & Tall & 'Roidy

5. Star in one of them "We Have 15 Kids" movies with Bonnie Hunt

4. For every homer he hits, donate 500 bucks to the good people at Balco

3. Auction autographed syringes on eBay

2. Switch from steroids to hookers to become like lovable Babe Ruth

1. For the love of God, give some of them 'roids to the Knicks!